I feel sad that you felt you had to endure tight lace on the legs. I can't imagine anyone judging you for making a cut in the lace to give your legs the room they needed. Alterations for physical/medical reasons would always have been allowed, I believe. The point of garments is modesty and remembrance of temple covenants - and as long as that was respected, there would have been no problem. It appears you were not alone and that's why lace is no longer used.
I think some people would be able to make alterations like that without any guilt, while others would not. I know myself would not have been able to without intense shame, hence why I never tried it. Religious trauma and indoctrination is different for everyone and I know for me that kind of scrupolsity was incredibly difficult to fight.
I think this also speaks to my main point that no one, especially not men in SLC, should be dictating our underwear and clothes to the point that we have to debate whether it’s okay or not to modify a strip of lace. We should all be able to wear what we want, when we want, and how we want. We are all capable of having a relationship with God as individuals to work out the details ourselves without needing a bishop and a recommend interview to declare we are doing it “right”.
I greatly appreciate your thoughts and your willingness to mourn with me ❤️ That’s a true act of love!
I get it! I tend to be scrupulous too. I know I used to worry obsessively about things I wouldn't worry about now.
I remember wearing garments in the hospital after I had my first baby - because I thought I was supposed to. No one told me that I didn't need to wear them there - which was a little embarrassing because it was not an LDS area. I later learned - because I asked - that it wasn't necessary.
Our church is led by men who have the final say - but it's also true that women were consulted in the final design. Many years ago, I remember reading that Eliza R. Snow suggested a style with Turkey-red collars which would show, but another style was chosen instead. I believe the men and women involved in subsequent changes did the best they knew how to do. When it comes to religious matters, most of us tend to be conservative (because we're not sure what is important and what isn't).
You know they don't force you to wear it, right? There's no control. They're not dictating anything. If you believe what the church teaches about garments, wear them. If you don't, don't. It's not that difficult.
I just had to stop wearing them. I’m in my 60’s and as I age my skin is becoming increasingly more sensitive. The dye they have to add to make them white and the seams! Why can’t they make the seams flat like a French seam? I was literally getting boils/sores on my body. I was regularly doing wound care! And yes, having worked in LDS Distribution I am aware of the possibility of having garments custom made by the church but that would only solve part of the problem. As for altering garments I was instructed that is a no from the church. You are not to alter garments or other sacred temple clothing. It’s part of our training. You can’t even cut the lace etc on your garments.
I don't live in this zero sum paradigm between self and God. I have another paradigm. I thrive in it.
Preach it, Sister!
I feel sad that you felt you had to endure tight lace on the legs. I can't imagine anyone judging you for making a cut in the lace to give your legs the room they needed. Alterations for physical/medical reasons would always have been allowed, I believe. The point of garments is modesty and remembrance of temple covenants - and as long as that was respected, there would have been no problem. It appears you were not alone and that's why lace is no longer used.
I think some people would be able to make alterations like that without any guilt, while others would not. I know myself would not have been able to without intense shame, hence why I never tried it. Religious trauma and indoctrination is different for everyone and I know for me that kind of scrupolsity was incredibly difficult to fight.
I think this also speaks to my main point that no one, especially not men in SLC, should be dictating our underwear and clothes to the point that we have to debate whether it’s okay or not to modify a strip of lace. We should all be able to wear what we want, when we want, and how we want. We are all capable of having a relationship with God as individuals to work out the details ourselves without needing a bishop and a recommend interview to declare we are doing it “right”.
I greatly appreciate your thoughts and your willingness to mourn with me ❤️ That’s a true act of love!
I get it! I tend to be scrupulous too. I know I used to worry obsessively about things I wouldn't worry about now.
I remember wearing garments in the hospital after I had my first baby - because I thought I was supposed to. No one told me that I didn't need to wear them there - which was a little embarrassing because it was not an LDS area. I later learned - because I asked - that it wasn't necessary.
Our church is led by men who have the final say - but it's also true that women were consulted in the final design. Many years ago, I remember reading that Eliza R. Snow suggested a style with Turkey-red collars which would show, but another style was chosen instead. I believe the men and women involved in subsequent changes did the best they knew how to do. When it comes to religious matters, most of us tend to be conservative (because we're not sure what is important and what isn't).
You know they don't force you to wear it, right? There's no control. They're not dictating anything. If you believe what the church teaches about garments, wear them. If you don't, don't. It's not that difficult.
Thank you for reading and boosting my post ❤️
You're welcome.
I just had to stop wearing them. I’m in my 60’s and as I age my skin is becoming increasingly more sensitive. The dye they have to add to make them white and the seams! Why can’t they make the seams flat like a French seam? I was literally getting boils/sores on my body. I was regularly doing wound care! And yes, having worked in LDS Distribution I am aware of the possibility of having garments custom made by the church but that would only solve part of the problem. As for altering garments I was instructed that is a no from the church. You are not to alter garments or other sacred temple clothing. It’s part of our training. You can’t even cut the lace etc on your garments.